My Hotness

It's not what you think, really....


So I'm selling my beloved house in the LC to move back to the parish. Someone signed a contract to purchase said house and the inspection was last week. The two major defects included and old (but still perfectly functional) roof that will likely need to be replaced within the next 3 years (good luck new homeowner girl :)) and a clogged condensation pipe something-or-other in my attic. Essentially, the pipe goes to the outside of the house to let moisture out. When it gets blocked with debris, a drip pan underneath the attic portion of the AC unit catches all the water. When the water gets to a certain level, it trips a sensor which in turn shuts the AC unit off to prevent further overflow and water damage on the ceiling. (It's kinda like that valve thingie-what in the toilet....this I know from an unfortunate apartment incident in my past.) Sorry to bore you with mechanical details but it is necessary for the story that I'll get to momentarily.

Brief digression: Whoever did the brick work on my house must have been awesome, because there is not a single crack or defect anywhere, and my house is 54 years old. It has withstood 2 major hurricanes and actually is in better shape than each of my neighbors, whose houses are only about 25 years old. It just goes to show they definitely don't make them like they used to. :)


I was relieved to escape the inspection without major problems, so I checked with the AC people who told me to give them a call next week to have it checked out. My brother thought I might be able to do it myself, so I thought I would try before calling them, and planned to do this when I got back from the parish yesterday. I did get my opportunity, but not in the way I had hoped.....

I (finally) found a house and am under contract, so I was pretty happy on the way home. The Lord answers prayers, etc. (This remark is not meant to be nonchalant.) I walked into my house in the LC and it seemed rather, er, warm. I did turn the thermostat up to 78 and it had been hot, so I check out the wall monitor...which had a completely blank LCD screen. Nothing would show up at all. I checked the breaker box, everything was okay there. I checked the monitor again (hoping for divine intervention) and, alas, it was still a screen of blankness. With my stellar mechanical mind (snort) I suspected it could be a busted thermostat, but a little nagging in the back of my mind knew it may be that valve-sensor thing. Great. It was 5 pm on a Friday afternoon and call-out AC guys are not cheap. Not to be deterred, I (stupidly) decided to investigate. When I opened the attic stairs, I was hit with a rolling, glare-inducing, palpable heat. My best guess is that it was probably 120 or so degrees in the attic (no exaggeration). I got to the top step and then totally chickened out. I don't scare easily, either. So I did what any self-respecting independent female would have done - I called my brother and whined to him.
After his encouragement (okay, comments about the gross things I've done at work and "what's a little attic?") I went forth into the (literally) darkness. This is not a new house attic with a subfloor and setup for a bonus room. It's low, cramped, stinky, dark, and "hotter-n-hades," as my grandfather used to say. Of course the AC unit was totally on the other side, too. I had to basically crawl 30 feet over a 2 x 4 and a sheet of plywood where some previous soul (bless their heart) had made a catwalk. I made my brother stay on the phone in case I got electrocuted (ventricular fibrillation is not a pretty thing nor is it compatible with a little thing we like to call life) so he could call 911. There was a 5 foot area of drip pan with a most disgusting body of water. I could not tell how to "unclog" anything and it did not appear to be as easy as the inspector said. By this time heat exhaustion became a legitimate concern (not really, but it was very hot) so I crawled back to the entrance. Somehow I manged to cut my knee on a nail. When I got to the entrance I realized I had not considered that I would have to climb down the stairs. It took me 10 minutes to strategically position myself for exit....I finally got the "swinging from the rafters" experience I was deprived of as a child. In a dismount that would make Mary Lou Retton envious, I managed to escape with a bloody knee, a very wet t-shirt, itchy insulation stuck to my left elbow, and sweaty hair that looked like I had washed it....eew.

The AC guy came this morning (it was a tolerable 80 degrees last night, so I slept on the couch underneath the ceiling fan) and "blew out the old pipes" (he assured me their was no "nicer" way to say it) which resulted in the deposition of approximately 10 gallons of gross water outside my house in the back. Problem solved by a professional in less than 20 minutes. And he only charged me $85 (they usually charge $100 just to come out plus the other fees.) And now it is 74 degrees at my house. I would just like to say I have an entirely new appreciation for anyone who has to do work like that on a daily basis. Mr. AC Man--you are my hero this weekend.